Balls Deep
by MNightShyamalanballsdeep
Summary: The fuckboy community is very extensive at JHS, but each of these disrespectful bitches has a secret of their own; they're gay.
1. Netflix and Chill

_A/N_

 _Any resemblance to real life people, living or dead, is completely coincidental._

 _Enjoy the story!_

 _Jean_

One month. This is how long I have been forced to live apart from Keland. For so long I had thought my life to be meaningless until I joined the gathering of the fuckboys and laid eyes on his pristine perfection. Initially, I could not comprehend why I felt so drawn to him, like every small piece of my essence, every fiber of my being, every cell of my body longed to be near him and share in his warmth. After time passed, however, I became familiar with my desires and embraced my feelings; The fact that I was madly in love with him.

Keland. How could I even attempt to describe him? Would I start with his tall, lean frame, or the vast oceans swirling in his deep, chocolate eyes? Would I talk about his low, buttery voice that hits the ear in a sound so thick and raw that even the heteros could be turned to the other side? Would I delve into his recklessness, and his attractively rebellious response to authority figures? How he lives by his own code and his alone, regardless of what powers attempt to restrain his passions? His own code excluding that of the elusive fuckboy clan.

The year of tenth grade, I officially became an initiate in this expeditiously expanding tribe I had begged entrance to for what seemed like millennia. My membership was sealed with my own blood thrown into the Chasm of Embers during the ever prominent _Deez Nuts_ ritual, one of great sacred value practiced by various groups across the globe. I pledged my allegiance to the fuckboys and made covenant with our prophet, Aidan, to never abandon our principles. He took me in as his apprentice, and spoke to me all of the knowledge I needed to attain in order to rise up the ranks and earn my title. But now, I am a traitor. I have marred the sanctity of our uppermost law; No Homo Bro.

The summer seemed to drag on endlessly, each day passing by as another obstacle to hurtle without the inspiration of my love urging me forward. _If only he felt the same..._ I think to myself, clenching the neon fabric of my Nike T shirt in the hope of crushing my heart into dust and eliminating my own sin. My chest aches in his absence, a cavity rotting away my insides and taking root in what should be the spot hosting joy. In the past weeks of separation, I had become familiar with the inky shadows and void that would surely swallow me.

He had departed for a month long family vacation in June, and my heart has never longed for a companion more than it does presently. Not even when filming my latest YouTube video could I force a smile to make it's way across my lips. The trek was too harsh for happiness, and at journey's end, all that remains of me is a husk, a skin I used to dwell inside of but now, an empty sack of flesh whose contents are nothing more than shattered longing and hope.

My ability simply to leave the bed has been impaired, yet the golden sunlight peering through my blinds urges me up and out as it stings at my skin, so long secured from God's rays. My sorrows consume me as I mindlessly walk outside onto the sidewalk, the sounds of children laughing and leaves drifting in the gentle breeze doing nothing to ease my conscience. Still I miss him.

Quickly, I brush off the still sounds of joy in the crisp summer air, the happiness of others merely grasping me by the ankles and thrusting me further down into oblivion. After only a short few seconds, my earbuds have been secured and Keland's mixtape is drowning my senses in his deep, alluring vibrato. "Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah..." I mumble sorrowfully in futile attempt to mimick his tune, his melody, his talent. My passion is too unbridled to be contained, and after only a short few minutes, I am singing along as skillfully as I am able, my heart rate quickening and my chest bursting in the sweet sensation that is love. Before I know it, I arrive back at my porch, my spirit fully rejuvenated after such long days apart from him.

His music wasn't enough to appease my thirst, however. Instinctively, I reach for my phone from within the wide caverns of my pockets, unlocking it with the quick swipe of my thumb and opening the message app. For a split second, my phone lags, and my heart skips a beat. _I need to talk to him again._

Jean: Hey boi, u gettin back today? ㈶0㈶0㈶0

Eagerly, I await his response. Seconds turn to minutes, minutes to hours, hours to days. I cannot stand the wait, my knees already threaten to buckle in anticipation. Desperately I want to type "I miss you" or even "I love you" if I ever were to be brave enough, but it defies our code, so I refrain. Showing blatant affection for another would only land me in punishment from Aidan himself, his questionable divinity giving him right to penalize all who commit crime under his domain.

Keland: yea bro, y u askin

My heart flutters and my eyes gleam with promise as my response is written out hastily by thumbs which appear to be separate from the control of my mind, excitement taking root in my joints and forcing words onto the screen.

Jean: its been awhile since we chilled bro wanna hang

Keland: yea man come over ㈇9㈇9

My eyes widen beyond their ordinary capacity. He wants me to... To come over?

Jean: ok lets watch some netflix and chill bro

Keland: yea bro see ya

I sigh with dreams laced in my voice, falling backwards onto my couch as I reread our short yet sweet conversation. I can just hear his voice now. _Hey bro, how you been?_ My chest tingles and my lips finally do what they haven't been able to accomplish all June. I smile.

The Heatherwood apartments. Not entirely unsafe, but absolutely one of the most dangerous hotspots in Mill Creek. Cop cars have nowhere to go but here. Twilight kisses the sky in its iridescent purple and pink glow as I tread towards his apartment building. Outside, the weaboo calmly sips tea, and from a distance, I hear him. His soft voice echoes throughout the parking lot in a sound sweeter than nectar of honey; A voice that lulls me into a false sense of immortality, like I will never perish so long as this beautiful sound accompanies me through danger. He and his friends rap with one another in a competitive style, continuing though it is clear who has already won.

"Keland, bro!" I shout excitedly, dashing towards him on sight. Even from a distance, he is radiant. His figure is but a toned silhouette against the dim sky, his dark skin and plump lips beckoning me to draw myself in further; but I resist.

"Hey, man..." He replies cooly, leaning forward with his legs spread; a dick ritual practiced only by the highest ranking fuckboys. My heart flies and I keep myself from glancing farther south than his broad shoulders. "Sorry, gang, I gotta fly. My man Jean and I are gonna go watch some Netflix."

His comrades look skeptical of me, possibly because of my suburban build, or even my ethnicity, but allow Keland to depart with me trailing behind him in an almost worshipful fashion. From several feet away I hear the weaboo giggle and take another long sip of tea, eyes fixed intently on Keland and I as though we are hiding something. I glance over but quickly dismiss the thought of anybody save me being aware of my secret.

Keland closes the door behind us as we enter the small enclosure he calls home. In the front room is a large, glistening television mounted to the wall, commentators on the news channel delivering both stories and opinions at a low volume. He turns it up to fifteen and sits back on the couch, resuming his dick ritual and beckoning me to take my seat beside him. Blushing profusely, I smile and do so.

I try to imagine the night going the way it does in movies or online; The boy and girl take a needless amount of time picking a program that deep down, they both know will end up useless in the long run. Then, after about half an hour of anticipation, the tension is broken with romance. In my mind, this is what happens, but reality tells me otherwise.

After picking Family Guy and making our way to the fourth episode of the night, not a single word even hinting at romantic interest has been uttered save our gruesome commentary on the dog and his canine lover. Every now and then I steal a glance, seeing his bright smile and hearing his joyous laugh bringing me comfort beyond measure. It doesn't matter if I'm happy with the way tonight ends, only him. Keland is all that is important. I scold myself internally, wondering how in hell I had ever thought the night would go any differently.

Hours pass and I hear the sound of my mother's car horn from beyond the walls of the building. "It's been fun, man," I say, rising to my feet and briefly dusting off my shorts.

"Yeah, bro," He replies, smirking at me from his seat. "Let's hang more often."

I feel swarms of butterflies eating away at my insides, but outwardly, I show nothing. Fear of ridicule prevents me from pursuit of my love. "Yeah, sounds cool. See you."

Walking outside towards my mother's car, I'm unsure how to feel, but taking a final look at the weaboo confirms this uncomfortable sensation frothing in my stomach is negative. Face twisted in scorn and judgemental prejudice, I can see this is am negative. Even the weaboo knew I would fail.


	2. An Indirect Kiss

**Fuckboi Class System** : _The ordered hierarchical standing in the ecosystem of Jackson high school, which instills certain rights, such as the performance of purification rituals, to high ranking officers.  
_  
 **Chapter 2  
** _Jean_  
 _5%. 5%. 5%. 5%. 5%._ The miniscule percentage reverberates endlessly in my skull, a constant echo reminding me of the failure looming in my imminent future. The crimson glow of the Stanford web page illuminates my face in its daunting grasp, suffocating my every thought. My eyes rake over the tear stained paper, reporting the one I scored on my AP exam. Just as my mind begins to travel deep into my darkest oblivion, my phone pulls me back into reality, the screen lighting up and the speakers releasing the sharp note of my text tone.  
Keland. Keland… My thoughts are drawn into an instant battle between lust and my fuckboi aspirations. The fear the weaboo had imbued within my mentality is brought forth to me once again; the fear of being found out. Regardless of my anxieties, I venture into a world of risk and anticipation, taking my phone in hand and unlocking it to view the recently intercepted message.  
Keland: Yo bro. U been risin up the ranks with the boiz. Wanna hang?  
My chest is instantly filled to the brim with pride due to my success in both pursuits; the pursuit of Keland and my pursuit of entrance into the _bro_ therhood. Eagerly, I type out a response, elation and glee visible in my trembling hands and profuse blushing.  
Jean: Ye man, soun coo…  
The door bell interrupts my racing thoughts, and at the sight of my only true friend, Kevin, I am reminded of my despair caused by my shameful score on the AP World exams.  
"Hey! I'm so sorry about your score, I just thought I'd come over to see—" I interrupt Kevin, grabbing his wrist and dragging him towards my bedroom. Once encapsulated by the walls, I spring towards the closet. I can see the befuddled expression on my friend's face as he asks me, "Are you sure you're ok dude?" I shake my head at this and slink closer to him, for my secret is too shameful for these thin walls.  
"Do you… Remember…. The thing I told you… About…Me?" I say anxiously, my hands gyrating with pure fear.  
"YOU MEAN THE KPOP!" His eyes grow wide as he recalls the embarrassing events of the prior year. I shake my head once more, my dismal disposition clear on my face; suddenly I see the realization overtake him.  
"Is this about, Keland?" My closest friend was the only one I had confided in, and because of this I solemnly nod. I come out of the closet… Numerous articles of attire in hand, my face burning with the heat and fear of judgement, "So, what should I wear?"

 _Forward? Back? FORWARD! No—no BACK_! I endlessly adjust my American flag SnapBack but regardless of how intensely I long to look like the rest of the _bro_ therhood, the hat never sits quite right on my head. Making my way to the apartments, I attempt to replace my expression of joviality with one of ennui. The first thing I see are his emoji pants, adorable as always yet classy in their own right.  
"Ey, boy, you been lit lately!" I blush as Keland ever so eloquently regards me and reply, "You know it bro just doing what I do." I coolly pass off his compliment but inside I am spinning in exuberant splendor. Keland recognized my efforts to assimilate after all.  
"Man, we gotta bounce, oh wait yo, I got something for you." He reaches into his adidas jacket pocket, what hidden depths are within it I do not know, but my heart beats in anticipation, galloping like a wild stallion. Then I see it. A silvery rod emerges from the caverns within the breathable fabric of his adidas jacket, its length glistening in the dim glow of the horizon. Vape.  
"I got that strawberry inhale apple exhale on lock. You even vape bro?" I take his gift in my hand, but a voice in the back of my mind reminds me of my future. Stanford, TSA, maintaining my Lychee based YouTube channel! But it was Keland… I take a long draw of vape. Keland. Another toke of the delicious fruit concoction. Keland. I smile dopily up at him, and before my dulled brain can register the situation, Keland's thick fingers grasp the metal rod containing the substance, and his powerful lungs gulp the thick white vape. My face flushes as I watch his perfect lips exhale the fruity cloud. And then it hits me. An indirect kiss. The transfer of saliva. The exchange of steam. I feel the blood pulsing through my veins and quickly attempt to subdue my desires. In this moment I am complete, no mortality exists when I am near him. We walk the trail along the apartments, my mind at ease, my heart filled with ecstasy.


End file.
